May 29, 2015

Hot Soul

I wear my heart on my sleeve.
By this, I mean that heartbreak does not deter me from being hopeful. I'm not one to wallow over lost love or the pain of separation.
I grieve.
And I grieve the same way that I love: completely and with unbridled passion!

Every little part of me envelopes pain and I let it lead me! I believe this is the only way to get over someone who has consumed you. It's the only way to mourn a part of you dying.
Because, when someone leaves you, they take that part of your life with them. It's only natural for you to pay your respects to what once belonged to you, with you, made you whole; to what's left of you now, an incomplete puzzle.
Your skin has been balled like a perfect melon scoop! Your heart has lost a large chunk of delirious affection that fueled it! Your hands feel naked without their fingers resting in it! Your body is a cold mold that has lost its haven! Your lips are lonely! Your cheeks sink in! The wonderfully shallow grooves in your neck abandoned! You hear their voice in the dark caves of your memories, but now it's only an echo. Tragic and lost. 

But nothing can compare to the emptiest part of you.
That gaping pit in your stomach that controls everything from your tears to your anger. You wonder if you'll ever get over that sinking feeling, like you're getting sucked, outside in, into your own body and disappearing into your entrails into nothingness... 
That void. The bitter pain of sadness every time you see a faint trace of them. It could be a tagged picture on Facebook. It could be an old faded text message with some traces of love. It could be a picture you'd forgotten to delete. It could be their haunting voice on loop.
The power they still have over you is overwhelming and it frightens you to no end. Wondering if you'll ever survive to tell your story of rebirth. Wishing someone saves you. Hoping secretly that it's the same person who broke you. Begging for the pain/tears/nightmares to end.

You know what? It will.
Like a firework at the end of its grandiose journey. Your pain will dissolve into smoke.
Sweet death.
You will shine brighter than ever because that's what stars do.
You'll rise from your own ashes, you magnificent Phoenix!

[Art by the incredible Bojan Jevtic]

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