May 23, 2012

Pimp my pride!

I love Twitter. Now, with that said, I can't totally discount Facebook, because it has all my friends from way back when. But recently, I've come to encounter some incredible strangers through Twitter, who have changed my life forever.

I don't really have to choose, do I? It's literally a quality vs quantity battle. I have over 700 friends on Facebook, and about 50 on Twitter. In all likelihood, I talk to the 50 more often than I ever will with the 700 (excluding the ones I see regularly). Why do I have them on my profile, you ask? It's one of those childhood nags, I think I get it from my mother: the habit of hoarding.

I have a skirt from 2001 that I hope to someday fit into, lying around in my cupboard. Fat chance! (Er, pun intended?) I know I'll never really care or actually fit into it ever again; but every time I see it I yearn for the days I could so easily fit into it. Yeah, Facebook friends are like that. You have them in the corner of your profile, hoping that someday things will magically turn around, but are actually too guilt-ridden to delete them off for fear of the big "what if" that always looms large. (Women, I'm specifically talking about that boy you once had a crush on, but don't talk to anymore, even though your status messages are seconds apart on your Newsfeed.) As for your old girlfriends, well, it's just to avoid the nagging. You'd rather have them quietly sitting in your friend list, than deleting them off and having them request to add you again!

And what about those wedding announcements that have taken over pretty much every medium of your social/mobile networking? Thanks, but I'd like to think I'm still young enough to not have this pressure demon waiting around corners for me. My mum condescendingly asks, "If you dislike weddings so much, who asked you to choose it as your profession?" Touche. I tell her that I'm in love with the idea of marriage. And as a wedding photographer I always hope that all my clients are crazily in love with each other to want a marriage, not just a wedding. That's my favourite part about shooting brides, grooms and their families. The whole chaotic amalgamation of culture and colour is a bloody marriage. One I can only hope will last. (I can now safely say that a lot of recently separated people on my Facebook are shooting daggers in my direction right, so no more talk of this.)

My mother keeps telling me how I was already 4 when she was as old as I am now. Pfft! Okay, it's not like I don't want children. I love babies. I shoot them for a living. (No, no. No pun intended.) And although I'm extremely maternal, I'd like to have them when the time is right, with a sane, passionate man. 

I see so many beautiful children on my Facebook page every single day, proud parents showing them off at every stage with albums named, "Nina - Just Born" "Nina - Age 1" "Nina - Age 1 and 3/4 months" "Nina - Sleeping" "Nina - Sucking Toe..." You get the picture. Um, guys? There's only so much a baby does! And while it's awesome that you're pretty much stalking her every move, please give the child some goddamn privacy. It's bad enough that we've compromised our own for the sake of "social networking," let the child breathe without shoving a phone camera in her face at every waking moment! And honestly, some of them are not even easy on the eyes! I'm sorry, but are you blind? Your baby is no looker and you know it. If she grows into a gorgeous woman... She'll kill you for taking so many distasteful pictures of her!
So, please, cut it out. Go out and play with your children. Make some memories that are on record with only  you. Your memories are all you need. This is the time to take a leaf out of your parents' book and learn to remember every annoying detail about your child without taking a gazillion pictures. And if you do need pretty pictures, my deets are on the blog. (Yes, this is a business ploy. I'm pimping my pride. Be gentle.)

So, have you had enough of my rants? Hmm, didn't think so. You're not to worry, I don't have these in short supply so you'll be subject to a lot.

Oh! While I'm pimping everything except my shoe closet, this is what I do for a living. 

My Portfolio

My Facebook Page

Check out the page, love it, share it, despise it, leave me feedback... 

This is me wishing the 700 people on my Facebook are at least kind enough to acknowledge my role in their life at some point and not just have me on for the show of it. And I promise to write back to each of you. 
As for you Twitter folk, I expect nothing less than "This -> mylink" Oh, and also love. And shark kisses. (Which I've recently come to like.)

 More on shark kisses in my next post...

Follow Me on Pinterest

No comments: