June 15, 2011

Maybe?




You know that feeling you get, when you've met the 'one.' 

Yeah, so my best friend has it. She called me today saying she is in love with a boy who makes her breakfast everyday, while also making her smile equally. She said that she woke up one day just knowing that he was the one and although they're both crazy for each other, they're planning each detail out so they can account for it. 
"A, he's perfect. Everybody adores him!" And the next second, my face broke into a smile. Not like I was empathizing with her, I just imagined what that would feel like and it brought a smile to my face. Vicarious joy, really. 

An hour later, my oldest guy friend called me saying he's getting married in four months. And I was like, "Man, it's an epidemic!" I was waiting to tease him to no end, but he sounded (if this is possible) more happier than the best friend! I haven't ever heard him this thrilled for as long as I've known him. 

He told me this girl was not much of a party person or a social bee, but she was kind and intelligent. And that she made him smile. 
So, basically 'smile' was the word of the day. He said that whenever he thought about her, he smiled without even knowing he was! 

Dude, this sounded familiar. I mean, sure, I'd felt that way. So I nodded along and was truly genuinely happy that two of my closest friends had found love. 

The true kind. The kind that makes you want to wake up and live the day! The kind that puts a fire in your heart every time you see them! The kind that brings peace to your soul no matter where you are. The kind that allows you to be stupid and crazy and dramatic; all without explanation! The kind that brings you back to a house you call home, and a person you call family. The kind that lasts. 

Call me a hopeless romantic, but I long for it! When S said she'd found her "lobster," I was like, "Even I want!" And she joked, 'To eat or keep?" And I brushed it off with a, "To eat. Lol." But something inside me went, "...and keep."


I feel like an eternity has passed and that I've missed the bus. Like the ship of True Love has sailed on me. 

I feel like I once wasn't ready and it came by and I missed it. 
I feel like a kid whose ice cream melted because she was too busy trying to eat it in a polite way. 

Will I ever get there? To the all-knowing place? To the place that magically sweeps everyone off their feet? Where dragons are slayed and candy hearts come alive! Of spontaneous kisses that spell passion and glances that make moments feel like eternity.

A place that is only a figment of my imagination right now. 


Time...

13 comments:

Passerby said...

You're life seems to be filled with Oxymoron's at the moment. Two of them in specific baffle me.

Firstly, your use of 'True Love'. True or truth, is giving superficiality to something by providing proof in the form of facts. Love on the other hand is a state of mind, or a feeling that requires nothing of that sort. I think either looking for truth is fair, or looking for love is fairer. but looking for true love, in my opinion is going to get you to a place beyond comprehension.

Secondly, i don't mean to ridicule you in any way, but the term 'hopeless romantic' is the most absurd idea, and one that has a good ring to it when you say it, but perhaps the most overused oxymoron ever. A romantic would never be hopeless. He/she would be filled with optimism, hope and this sense of eagerness that your two friends have at the moment. They are truly romantic. And in no way hopeless. And quite obviously seeing the way you share their optimism and happiness, I'd have to assume you're a romantic too.

I might be wrong here and the essence of our existence perhaps lay in these opposites we create for ourselves to live in.

Good luck to your friends... and you...

Archana 'archie' Kumar said...

Well, I thank you for this, kind passerby. :)

This whole situation, the one that got me to write this with a noticeable hint of desperation to it, is pretty hopeless to me.

Yes, I'm happy and optimistic for them. And for whoever else has this feeling. But to me, it still is a mirage.

I can't feel what they feel. I can only see it. And that neither makes me knowledgeable nor experienced enough to call myself a romantic.

A romantic is one who has known and felt it. Not the one who wishes for it.

The strange thing is, I'm only just admitting to this. I lived in a bubble of hope and smugness until now. Scoffing at people. Thinking I'd been born worthy. *shakes head* :)

The 'hopeless' in hopeless romantic is my reality check.

Passerby said...

As superficial as it may sound:The fact that you can't question the existence of something, and the purity of it, but still believe you can't achieve it, tells me that YOU are the mirage.

I disagree when you say a romantic is one who has known it and felt it. That takes all the flavour away and leaves you with someone else experiences. Maybe what you're looking for is your own definition of what you're hopelessly chasing. And I think you're looking outside you "bubble of hope and smugness" for it. Look inside it and it maybe right there. What I'm trying to say is that everything you're looking for is not that complex. It's a simple question you have to answer. What is it that you want, and How do you want it? Some want to be taken to it in a horse and a weirdly dressed man in front, while others want a long conversation on a sunny day in an empty beach. What is it that you are hopelessly chasing?

And lastly the 'desperation' in your memo is your hope.

Archana 'archie' Kumar said...

Haha! Hmmm, I can't say I don't completely disagree with you. I probably am.

I've looked. Oh, boy have I looked. And now I feel like I'm going around in circles. And just want to stop looking. Let it come to me! Why am I the only one looking? Surely someone is looking for me too, right? Or am I just being a tad pompous? This can't be a one way street. It can't elude me forever. So maybe I'll sit down, preferably in a corner and wait. Or not. Maybe I'll be busy making things happen otherwise and my ship HAS to come in. I mean, love will eventually have to find me, instead of me going on this wild goose chase.

I want bugles, not violins. I want lazy Sunday afternoons on crisp white sheets and the smell of warm bread. I want water fights and many a cake binge. I want courage with a smile. And butterflies with a touch. I want popcorn flying through horror movies. I want a breezy night on a swing, holding hands and not saying a word, and being content in silence. I want non-guilty drunken texts. I want a white lily plant and two shovels. I want time to stop. I want a house full of books, and a man who knows their worth.
I just want to never have to look. Ever.

You just used desperation and hope in the same sentence. I'd say you're pretty oxymoronic.

Passerby said...

The rest of your life doesn't have to wait when you're on the lookout. And you're life doesn't stop when you find what you wanted. I'm sure you know that, and you don't seem like you'll wait in a corner either!

The accuracy in what you want is commendable. And time will stop on those Sunday afternoons, and every bit of what you described is probably just around the corner. So keep roaming!

Although I'm quite 'oxymoronic' myself, I stick by desperation and hope being the same.

Truck Driver said...

You'll find him soon, don't stop looking out for him, even though you might end up meeting the wrong ones in between.

Just behave the way you want to, because then only someone will truly understand you. And voila, one day will magically appear.

Keep hoping for someone who'll love you truly till the day that person arrives.

Best of luck :)

Karan said...

To quote one of my favourite movies - "Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things. And, a good thing never dies." :)

GrumbleB. said...

i came to see the collage but this post caught my eye because of the opening line....

http://grumbleb.blogspot.com/2009/07/i-wonder-if-it-is-possible-for-love.html

something i wrote while i still thought of such things :P... hope it sets off another chain of thought...

pure said...

i think you just haven't met him yet

not that you missed him, silly :-)

Velvetta said...

Oh-ho! :)
Is that a good thing?

Shantanu Verma said...

Hey :)

I absolutely loved this post. Especially the end -

Will I ever get there? To the all-knowing place? To the place that magically sweeps everyone off their feet? A place that is only a figment of my imagination right now.

You have given words to the feelings I have been having for a while now.

:)

nishchitha said...

i haven't been writing for a while , u post just inspired me to start writing again :) good work

pure said...

Velvetta?!

is that a question?

:-P

imagine the possibilities

endless